Filipina Pen Pal Brides Culture Honesty Scams Fraud Money

This page about Filipina and Asian penpals including dating sites, lies and scams. This page is provided "as-is" and is not guaranteed as to accuracy or fitness for any purpose. Most Asian Mail Order Brides come from the Philippines due to economic hardship. Many ladies may be sincere, but is it for love or economic hardship and a cultural tradition to support her Filipino family. We attempt to explore the topics of honest Pinay ladies to the scammers, beggers, liars and lady-boys that all too often use Asian dating web sites to prey upon foreign men and their money. Fraud and scams may seem acceptable to many in desperate financial conditions. We seek to improve cultural understanding on both sides of the Pacific to avoid marital failure, heartbreak, divorce, alimony, child support, abuse and other serious penpal problems. Mabuhay! Remember, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is! For more on pen pal scams please visit Philippine Introductions Article or visit CBI Filipina Internet Scams or see the movie Closer To Home.

For a in-depth discussion on Filipina Penpals (where most Asian mail brides come from), the Pen Pal Busines, Filipino culture, the real motivations for marriage to foreigners, religious influences, fraud and what an honest marriage takes to succeed, we suggest you visit our FULL LENGTH Index Page at:

Click Here For Our Full-Length Page on Filipina Pen Pals

Those who will not reason, are bigots; those who cannot, are fools; and those who dare not, are slaves." - Lord George Byron

Background On Pen Pals.

All penpals publish because they are having some problem finding what they are looking for at home. While love and affection is presumed, often there are other underlying motivations. Knowing all about your penpal bride (or groom) is always necessary but often overlooked due to desperation on both sides of the Ocean leading to marriage failure, unhappiness, fraud, divorce, economic loss and feelings of being scammed, cheated or lied to.

Many women everywhere seek men for "enabling", which inhibits true romantic love. Standard of living is often the motivation for "sincere" women to seek a man for marriage everywhere. This is especially true in the Philippines where daughters are expected to help support their "true family" (their parents, siblings and children) often with little if any means to do so. A "husband" or "wife" is often viewed more as a "functional" object or enabler. Filipina asawa (wives) expect a man to be a hard working provider and the wife as an incubator for making children and taking care of the house, which is their form of retirement in a country with no social security system. Many of the Filipina ladies publishing on web sites are merely trying to fulfill their obligation to provide for parents and siblings and will do whatever it takes including scamming foreigners at web sites for money. Of course, some scams and fraud can be very complex and problematic.

Many Filipinas seek work abroad. Since few have the skills or disposable income to pay an agency, finding a "husband" as "employer" often is the "job of last resort". Knowing her true motivations for marriage and her family is essential to avoid a love misrepresentation. The movie Closer To Home is an excellent example of hidden underlying motivations that lead to fraud in the name of love.

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." -- Albert Einstein

Asian & Filipina Pen Pal Connections, The Truths and Lies.

In the past, some sincere Asawa (brides) from the Philipppines created small penpal lists as a "business" to help other ladies in her home town find men so they can improve their living standard and send money back home. Sadly, these more honest publications could not sustain themselves. Today, many asawa simply "introduce" relatives and friends to men they know in the foreign country so no penpal company is needed.

In the past, pretty photos sold the successful publications to hundreds of men. This gave scam artists hundreds of male "customers" too. Some big penpal companies allegedly solicited attractive young ladies to publish with them. Men buying these lists could expect to hear from ladies needing money, often with very pitiful stories. Men with kind hearts might feel obligated to try to help send money to his penpal, which is what the scammers rely upon for economic support. Scams come in many varieties and degrees of severity, but the simple money requests usually involve the need for sudden cash for alleged sickness, computer rental, tuition, holidays, etc.

Insincere ladies can be found everywhere, especially when there are many more men then eligible women (usually the case) at dating sites. Many penpals are bar-girls, scammers working with her parents or a Filipino lover, "party girls" seeking fun for her and her friends (barkada), lady-boys, "troubled", sexually repressed or otherwise incompatible as brides. Many girls have men visiting every month spending something on them. Non-disclosure is a common Oriental custom. It is very important to take time to know about each other before anyone books a plane flight!

WARNING: Some very dangerous scams can occur and the laws in the Philippines are different than in most Western countries. Also, Philiippine ladies often know the immigration and divorce laws of overseas and will do the common scams of Western and American ladies, such as, marrying a wealthy man with a good pension so as to take him for half of his assets.

Ideally there could be computer dating sites with "reciprocal matching" and other features. Of course, you won't find them anywhere even though the technology exists. Why? Because of dating demographics. If you put all the REAL male and female "parameters" in a big computer you'd find few honest matches.

For more on pen pal scams and chat room problems please visit Philippine Introductions Article.

Closer To Home is a Must See Film you can rent at popular movie sites. See, Everlasting Love's description of Closer To Home, or the Plot Summary.

Just as breathing is needed for respiration, sex is needed for evolution (genetic recombination). It is not natural to hold one's breath just as it is not natural to avoid having a sexual romantic love relationship. Of course, "protection, no objection". Does your Filipina bride see things this way? Are you a good "romantic match"?

Closer To Home

Closer To Home Plot Summary

For more on pen pal scams and chat room problems please read thePhilippine Introductions Article, or visit CBI Filipina Internet Scams

Abuse hurts, can you recognize it? Face The Issues.Org.

Everyone should see the Climate Crisis page An Inconvenient Truth.

Bottom line: Filipinas who look good, are virgins, sweet and loving, have a college education, or come from a the middle or upper economic castes will be in high demand and have many eligible suitors right at home. They rarely need to publish as pen pals which is a social disgrace in the eyes of many from her culture. It is overlooked because of the "desperation" as is working as host-girls at home or nearby Asian countries.

Why Do Philippine & Asian Women Seek Foreign Husbands?

Some Non-Scientific "Stats" To Consider...

BEWARE OF SCAMS, WHICH CAN BE ESPECIALLY DANGEROUS AFTER YOU HIT THE TARMAC.

Statistics show that less than 1% of Filipina ladies who publish as penpals will ever marry a foreigner and only a tiny percentage of American marriages involve a foreign bride. Abuse among these marriages may be greater than average due to mis-match, lack of time to truly know each other, undisclosed agendas, "control issues" by insecure men and fraud by women who want to quickly get out of the marriage but keep her immigrant visa which she can do if she can demonstrate abuse. Some fraudulent marriages are planned by the lady very carefully. The "I was abused" scheme is a common fraud. Dropping a baby for 18 years of child support payments is another.

Although not scientific, the following is a rough break-down of the types of ladies who publish.

NOTE: Percentages do NOT add up to 100% due to overlapping criteria.

30% - Are Seeking Romantic Love. Just like men who publish, women who are having a problem finding a lover at home may seek to look abroad. But what is causing a foreign lady to not find love in her country? Are the men too short or "nerds"? Or, is it because the men interested in her don't earn enough money to support her and her true family which is the one she came from?
50% - Want to work abroad, with a man "hiring" her. Most Filipinas have a "duty" to serve the "true family" they come from. The problem is a lack of job skills and up-front agency placement fees make work abroad difficult to find and work at home doesn't pay the expenses. Accordingly, many ladies hope a foreign man may locate them a job or "hire" them to cook and clean and wash clothes (like often done in their own country). Most families there can support a "maid" and wives expect this there. Also, they may see the traditional role of "housewife" as a form of employment deserving compensation to send overseas. In that most middle-income households in the Philippines have a "yaya" (housekeeper) to help raise the kids, she may anticipate her husband will let her work to support her true family back home. Marriage is often viewed more as a type of work "contract" than a love bond.
60% - Are scamming for money. Pen Pals are a business there and rationalized as ethical because even a few dollars goes a long way to helping them and the family they came from. When economic conditions are very difficult one must think "survival". Many ladies actually see penpal dating sites as charity sites so begging for money with no strings attached is "good". Keep in mind that the "nickel & dime" and "big pop" money requests are just the PRE-FLIGHT scams. Watch out for what can happen after you hit the tarmac!
25% - Are Lady-Boys. These men turned "lady" (TS = trans-sexuals) can look really hot, especially with their petite Asian features. They can easily fool Western men and you don't want to fly half way around the world to find your girl is a male.
25% - Have Problems. These are the ladies who can't get a man in their own country. They include: un-wed mothers, ex-prostitutes, troubled girls, religious fanatics, men haters, daddy's girls, sexually repressed, obese, etc. Again, the more time you spend knowing about each other, the less likely you are to be a victim of abuse, misunderstanding, expectations or scams.
20% - Are Chit-Chatters or Party Girls. Many girls are simply there if you happen to show up with your private jet and want to take their friends (barkada) out to expensive places. Their scam is to take your money for "fun" and leave wihout a trace. Keep in mind most of these ladies will keep so distant from their penpal nobody can recognize which girl in her barkada found the "sucker" to pay the bills. Being seen with a foreigner can be a bigger social disgrace than being seen wearing a string bikini in a gentlemen's bar (and they don't even wear bikinis at the beach).
20% - Are Paranoid Of Foreigners. Some ladies believe wicked rumors of how Filipina ladies have been abused by their foreign husbands. While some crime occurs everywhere, it seems that such fears may arise more from the crime rates in her country than the crime in yours. But after hearing their fears of rape and murder, one must ask, why would they still publish? Financial desperation is the usual motivation!
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted. - Jerome Blattner
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -- Arthur Schopenhauer

"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority." - Thomas Huxley (1825-1895)
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." - Voltaire

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Resurrection From The "Dark Ages"

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw

The Philippines is a primarily Catholic country in which you ethically step back in time to the "dark ages". Men volunteer to be crucified (usually not to their death) in almost every Philippine town during Easter. Water buffalo are made to kneal before the church. People often flog themselves bloody. The need for consolation and forgiveness of sins is extreme. Their "merciful" God, commands supplication! How much sensual love and affection can exist in culture where sex is a "necessary evil" for making babies (their social security) which then inculcates cleansing as "original sin"? The notion that sex is natural and necessary for evolution is incomprehensible to all but an educated few. Predictably, they have an overpopulation crisis (birth-control is viewed with contempt) and environmental crisis (it's God's will) and economic hardship (it's God's test). Of course, desperation is the breeding grounds for religious fanaticism.

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Some of the nicest ladies come from Asia. Beware of dishonest gold-digging scammers!