In the past, pretty photos of Beautiful Island girls and sensual Oriental ladies sold the successful publications to hundreds of men seeking submissive virgin cherry blossoms. This gave scam artists hundreds of male "customers" too. Not much has changed with the internet, although it could. As before, men are the ones paying for these dating introduction services and there is a shortage of younger and more attractive or educated ladies. Few of the ladies are seeking true romantic love as there are many men at home in the Philippines, China, Thailand, Malasia, India and everywhere else. Asian women, like ladies everywhere, can find love right at home. Filipina ladies wanting to go abroad do so mostly for financial reasons because they must support family back home.

Filipina and Asian women rarely seek foreigners for their cultural or religious differences. It's not your activism, the environment, population control, civil liberties, beer or sports that motivate Oriental girls to publish at pen pal sites.

Asian and Filipina dating scams come in many varieties and degrees of severity, but the simple money requests usually involve the need for sudden cash for alleged sickness, computer rental, tuition, holidays, etc. These are often the same reasons Filipina ladies would do petty prostitution with discrete "boyfriends". Now, they don't need the Filipino boys with money to support them, they can hang-out in chat rooms, Yahoo Messenger being a favorite.

Filipina dating sites claiming to have beautiful loyal sincere island girls waiting to be your Filipina heart of gold may actually have many more men then eligible women. Many sweet Filippine ladies at dating sites may be bar-girls, scamming with parents, or have a Filipino lover. Some pinay are "party girls" seeking fun for her and her friends (barkada), lady-boys, "troubled", sexually repressed or otherwise incompatible as brides. Many girls have men visiting every month spending something on them. These ladies usually want you to visit them before either of you know too much about each other. Non-disclosure is a common Oriental custom as secret agendas are expected as customary. Love, is often a synonym for stability or support. It is very important to take time to know about each other before anyone books a plane flight. Ask youself how much a penpal is really telling you about herself and how well does she really know you before saying "I love you" or other such non-sense intended to get you to loosen up your wallet or fly around the world. The biggest scams occur after you hit the tarmac.

Closer To Home is a Must See Film you can rent at popular movie sites. See, Everlasting Love's description of Closer To Home, or the Plot Summary.

WARNING: Some very dangerous scams can occur and the laws in the Philippines are different than in most Western countries. Also, Philippine ladies often know the immigration and divorce laws of overseas and will do the common scams of Western and American ladies. We've all seen a woman marry a man to take him for half of his assets. Also, your Government probably won't help you. The laws generally require the man sponsoring a girl on a fiance visa (K-1 visa) or bride (I-130 visa) to provide for her and her costs. This could include her legal defense fees to "prove" you were "abusive" to her so she does not have to wait the 2-year period for her conditional permanent residence AND she will probably get to stay in your country! Of course, smart men live in the girls country for two years first as it's hard to pretend to love someone longer than that AND a woman's love hormone (oxytocin) will often wear off even if she did love you before two years as nature's way of having her spread her eggs around to enhance her evolutionary survival. Sex is for evolution!

Ideally there could be computer dating sites with "reciprocal matching" and other features. Of course, you won't find them anywhere even though the technology exists. Some domestic and foreign dating sites claim to have compatibility and personality matching, but it often appears to be more smoke and mirrors than anything else. Why? Because of dating demographics. If you put all the REAL male and female "parameters" in a big computer you'd find few honest matches. Compromise is all that is left, which is usually unsatisfactory.

Filipinas are expected to be virgins on their wedding and you may even find 80 year old men marrying a young virgin Filipina. Age often is not important when you're reason for finding a man is purely for financial support. Would things be any different if the man was half that age? How about if man is the same age as the Filipina bride? If the motivation is the same then sexual arousal was never in the equation and essential for a true sexual love bond. Something to consider. We've seen many younger men crying in their beers after meeting their pen pal. Deep romantic love is often more a Western concept than Oriental one, especially where NGO "save them funds" have poster children. But University girls do date Filipino men their same age often with real love in their hearts. Real heartbreak too when the love hormones fade and the disappointment and hurt feelings increase as nature intended, to spread those genes.

Just as breathing is needed for respiration, sex is needed for evolution (genetic recombination). It is not natural to hold one's breath just as it is not natural to avoid having a sexual romantic love relationship. Of course, "protection, no objection". Does your Filipina bride see things this way? Does your Filipina bride see this one life as something to really enjoy without shame in sex? Are you a good "romantic match"?

See the English & Tagalog movie Closer To Home.
Closer To Home Plot Summary.
A Fil-Am relationship story based on so many subtle truths.
A must see film in Tagalog & English. Don't leave home without it.

For more on pen pal scams and chat room problems please read thePhilippine Introductions Article, or visit CBI Filipina Internet Scams

Abuse hurts, can you recognize it? Face The Issues.Org.

Everyone should see the Climate Crisis page An Inconvenient Truth.

Bottom line: Filipinas who look good, are virgins, sweet and loving, have a college education, or come from the middle or upper economic castes will be in high demand and have many eligible suitors right at home. They rarely need to publish as pen pals which is a social disgrace in the eyes of many from her culture. It is overlooked because of the "desperation". Filipina bar girls and host-girls working at home or in nearby Asian countries are also seen as supporting family the only way they could.

Statistics show that less than 1% of Filipina ladies who publish as penpals will ever marry a foreigner and only a tiny percentage of American marriages involve a foreign bride. Abuse among these marriages may be greater than average due to mismatch, lack of time to truly know each other, undisclosed agendas, "control issues" by insecure men and fraud by women who want to quickly get out of the marriage but keep her immigrant visa which she can do if she can demonstrate abuse. Some fraudulent marriages are planned by the lady very carefully. The "I was abused" scheme is a common fraud. Dropping a baby for 18 years of child support payments is another. Beware of the many dangerous and costly scams that can occur abroad after you hit the tarmac.

Although not scientific, the following is a rough break-down of the types of ladies who publish.

NOTE: Percentages do NOT add up to 100% due to overlapping criteria.




• 30% - Are Seeking Romantic Love. Just like men who publish, women who are having a problem finding a lover at home may seek to look abroad. But what is causing a foreign lady to not find love in her country? Are the men too short or "nerds"? Or, is it because the men interested in her don't earn enough money to support her and her true family which is the one she came from and her kids, but NOT YOU?

  
  

• 50% - Want to work abroad, with a man "hiring" her. Most Filipinas have a "duty" to serve the "true family" they come from. The problem is a lack of job skills and up-front agency placement fees make work abroad difficult to find and work at home doesn't pay the expenses. Accordingly, many ladies hope a foreign man may locate them a job or "hire" them to cook and clean and wash clothes (like often done in their own country). Most families there can support a "maid" and wives expect this there. Also, they may see the traditional role of "housewife" as a form of employment deserving compensation to send overseas. In that most middle-income households in the Philippines have a "yaya" (housekeeper) to help raise the kids, she may anticipate her husband will let her work to support her true family back home. Marriage is often viewed more as a type of work "contract" than a love bond.

  
  

• 60% - Are scamming for money. Scamming American and western gentleman of their money is rationalized as ethical because even a few dollars goes a long way to helping them and the family they came from. When economic conditions are very difficult one must think "survival". Many ladies actually see love and dating sites as charity sites. Begging for money with no strings attached is viewed as "good". If EVERY MAN would refuse to send money, no matter how pitiful the story, perhaps the dating sites would have a lot fewer beggars. Keep in mind that the "nickel & dime" and "big pop" money requests are just the PRE-FLIGHT scams. Watch out for what can happen after you hit the tarmac!

  
  

• 25% - Are Lady-Boys. These men turned "lady" (TS = transsexuals) can look really hot, especially with their petite Asian features. They can easily fool Western men and you don't want to fly half way around the world to find out your girl was a male and may still have a penis.

  
  

• 25% - Have Problems. These are the ladies who can't get a man in their own country. They include: un-wed mothers, ex-prostitutes, troubled girls, religious fanatics, men haters, daddy's girls (Note: Filipino women will always love Daddy more than You), sexually repressed, obese, etc. Again, the more time you spend knowing about each other, the less likely you are to be a victim of abuse, misunderstanding, expectations or scams.

  
  

• 20% - Are Chit-Chatters or Party Girls. Many girls are simply there if you happen to show up with your private jet and want to take their friends (barkada) out to expensive places. Their scam is to take your money for "fun" and leave without a trace. Keep in mind most of these ladies will keep so distant from their pen pal nobody can recognize which girl in her barkada found the "sucker" to pay the bills. Being seen with a foreigner can be a bigger social disgrace than being seen wearing a string bikini in a gentleman's bar (and they don't even wear bikinis at the beach).

  
  

• 20% - Are Paranoid Of Foreigners. Some ladies believe wicked rumors of how Filipina ladies have been abused by their foreign husbands. While some crime occurs everywhere, it seems that such fears may arise more from the crime rates in her country than the crime in yours. But after hearing their fears of rape and murder, one must ask, why would they still publish? Again, financial desperation is the usual motivation!

  A person who trusts no one can't be trusted. - Jerome Blattner

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Resurrection From The "Dark Ages"

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw

The Philippines is a primarily Catholic country in which you ethically step back in time to the "dark ages". Men volunteer to be crucified (usually not to their death) in almost every Philippine town during Easter. Water buffalo are made to kneal before the church. People often flog themselves bloody. The need for consolation and forgiveness of sins is extreme. Their "merciful" God, commands supplication! How much sensual love and affection can exist in culture where sex is a "necessary evil" for making babies (their social security) which then inculcates cleansing as "original sin"? The notion that sex is natural and necessary for evolution is incomprehensible to all but an educated few. Predictably, they have an overpopulation crisis (birth-control is viewed with contempt) and environmental crisis (it's God's will) and economic hardship (it's God's test). Of course, desperation is the breeding grounds for religious fanaticism.

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

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